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Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement, by Jacqueline M. Stavros Cheri Torres
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Review
“This is the first book of its kind to take Appreciative Inquiry’s profound promise of positive leadership into legacy-creating conversations. This one book can change lives, relationships, and organizations. In a world where so many conversations are separating us from the vast potentials, may this book change not just our world, but our world of conversations.” -David Cooperrider, Distinguished University Professor and Honorary Chair Weatherhead School of Management, Case Western Reserve University and The David L. Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry, Champlain College, Stiller School of Business “This is my favorite book on Appreciative Inquiry ever! It captures the core concepts in a tight package, explains everything well, and provides plenty of techniques so you can put it to work immediately! If you want to use Appreciative Inquiry in your work or at home, pick up this gem. You will enjoy the amazing stories and get a comprehensive education you can put to work immediately. Conversations are the currency of our lives. Their quality determines the depth of our relationships and the possibilities our future holds. This little book packs a powerful and profound punch on all fronts. Pick it up and learn exactly what you can do to immediately improve the quality of your interactions, opening the door to the future you most dearly want. Wonderful! With grace and ease, this book provides a massive education. The stories alone are packed with power. The included techniques are easy to understand, comprehensive, and accessible. Conversations Worth Having is a remarkable, one-of-a-kind gift that you deserve. Big things will result from the people who put these tools to work.” -Seth Kahan, Founder of the Visionary Leadership Academy Author, Getting Change Right and Getting Innovation Right “This book is for everyone, from managers striving to lead their teams more effectively, to parents trying to cultivate better conversations with their children. With real-life examples, Stavros and Torres help illustrate the simplicity of how appreciation plus inquiry can change lives!” -Lindsey Godwin, Director of the David L. Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry Professor, Robert P. Stiller School of Business, Champlain College “Conversations Worth Having is exceptional! It's easy to read, relatable, and absolutely relevant. Ground breaking! Read this book if you want to be a great leader. Jackie and Cheri provide a comprehensive approach to improving communications in any setting." Awesome book!” -Loyd Beal III, Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army “As a college president, one of the most important things I can do is engage members of the college in meaningful conversations, giving voice to all our stakeholders. The Appreciative Inquiry practices in this book have been transformational at our college. They have empowered us to have difficult conversations, strengthen our relationships, and focus on how we can together create even greater possibilities for our students to succeed.” -Annette Parker, President South Central College, National Academy of Science, Center for Community College Student Engagement Board, and National Council for Adult and Experiential Learning Board "Conversations Worth Having ... is a book worth having . . . and a must read book. This is a book all leaders of organisations, large and small, should read because Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres show us through a combination of real life stories, practical wisdom, and just the right amount of science drawn from the fields of Appreciative Inquiry, Positive Psychology, and strengths, how conversations in workplace organizations determine the organizations capacity to flourish and the well-being of its team members. This one book shows the transitive, catalytic, and transformational power of conversations which are positive, affirmative, meaningful, strength based and life giving, versus those which are depletive. This is one of those short and easy to read books that will create a legacy for years to come by showing us why it is important to turn our conversations to the positive, and by providing us with tools on how to do this . . . We know that if we want people to care for our businesses and others, they must first feel cared for. As I read this book, it struck me that it is through conversations worth having, regardless of duration, that we show how much we care for others. Thank you for this wonderful gift that I can't wait to pass onto my teams, family and friends . . . and thank you for reminding us of the generative power of conversations worth having, to the countless relationships that make up the tapestry of life day each and every day.” -Robert Easton, Senior Managing Director, Accenture “Wow! What a great book! I'm going to use it in my courses and with every client from now on. I find it very rare to read a book like this, one that is so compelling and practical that it not only provides simple guidelines anyone can use, but filled me with the desire to go use them right away in the next conversation I have. Once I started reading it I couldn’t stop, and I immediately thought of a dozen clients and friends I want to give the book to. I believe that if you read and apply just the first two chapters your life, at work and at home, will change for the better!” -Gervase R. Bushe Ph.D. Professor of Leadership and Organization Development, Beedie School of Business, Simon Fraser University, Vancouver, Canada Author, Clear Leadership: Sustaining Collaboration and Partnership at Work "Conversations Worth Having has shifted the way I enter, engage, and react in my daily conversations. It has opened my eyes to how easy it is to shift from impulsive, emotional reactivity to productive, mindful conversations. When this book came to me, I was struggling to adjust to the ‘adult’ phase in my life. I had taken on several new roles: becoming a manager, a wife; I felt overwhelmed by the obstacles and responsibilities that had come my way. After learning to practice the Appreciative Inquiry principles outlined in this book, I have been able to shift my viewpoint to focusing on the solutions that I am capable of pursuing instead of giving all my energy to the problems I face. This book has provided me with tools that have helped me to express myself genuinely, listen to and understand others, rearrange my responsibilities and become a more valuable version of myself- at work and home. It's helped me deal with conflict in a more productive manner. By flipping my attitude and tone of the conversations I engage in, I find myself in a more balanced, peaceful state of mind.” “Jackie and Cheri - thank you so much for sharing this book with me. It came to me just when I needed it.” -Stephanie Schlueter, Manager, Natural View Market “I have had hundreds of conversations each day with students, parents, and staff. With students, I try to practice my philosophy that every conversation, even with serious disciplinary issues and consequences, is an opportunity!! With parents, I often say ‘I am just a dad who also happens to be a high school principal’. With staff, I often say ‘I am your colleague not just the boss’. After reading Conversations Worth Having, I now have an evidence-based framework that has filled in the blanks of what I have been trying to accomplish in my career. I am trying to build emotion, trust, ‘meaningful engagement’ and Appreciative Inquiry into my daily conversations! This book has re-enforced my belief that each and every discussion, with any person, has the true potential to build a connection! How I act in this conversation, how I lead, and how I engage the individual will almost assuredly dictate if I make a connection or not. It is up to me to frame the discussion, especially in my position of authority, in order to create a community of engagement. I also often tell my students that I like to ‘hand the keys of the building’ to them. This is my simple way of modeling that this building of bricks is their school, their home, their community. Conversations Worth Having made me reflect that every single conversation I have can be the next brick in this building, in our learning community. Every conversation can be the individual brick that become the solid foundation, of which outstanding organizations are built upon! Stavros and Torres have put into words how to simply and effectively build any team, any organization, and any company without any financial expense. Words are just sounds, without the heart behind them. The authors remind us to use your head to frame the conversation, and then just as importantly, to back it up with your heart. Each word and each conversation WILL affect your team. HOW it affects your team is up to you, if you intentionally make it a conversation worth having.” -Gavin Johnson, Principal, Brighton High School Father of Ally and Emma “Using engaging stories from their years of consulting experience with Appreciative Inquiry, Jackie and Cheri offer the first real practical guide to fundamentally changing our conversations to bring about the positive change we thirst for in ourselves, our relationships, and our organizations. The simplicity with which they present the principles and practices for doing so makes this my go-to resource for working with leaders.” -Neil Samuels, President, Profound Conversations, Inc. Author, The Heathside Story—Appreciative Inquiry in Whole School Transformation "We often get stuck in seeing the world through a lens that's distorted. Everything it seems is broken, hopeless, and unchangeable. Through such a lens, doing great work is nearly impossible. That's why -- for leaders and managers in any organization -- reading Cheri and Jackie's book is essential. The simple techniques it teaches will help people shake off the distortions of a problem-heavy worldview, and help them see the world as a place of potential, creativity, and continuous growth. By following the book's edicts, a business culture fueled by top-notch success will be well within your grasp." -Mark Levy, Founder of Levy Innovation LLC Author, Accidental Genius: Using Writing to Generate Your Best Ideas, Insight, and Content “This short book is a rare gem, it is entertaining, relevant, educational, and immensely practical. Jackie and Cheri synthesize vast amounts of research and years of their own practice, into powerful and educational stories on how to use Appreciative Inquiry in conversations. The two: practices: positive framing and asking generative questions, provide the reader with the skills needed to confidently engage in making any conversation a conversation worth having.” -Maureen McKenna, Founder, Return on Energy, Toronto, Canada “Jackie and Cheri really show how we can truly change the world one conversation at a time. Through their effective use of storytelling, you learn how to apply Appreciative Inquiry to engage in conversations designed to generate new ideas, create energy, and result in positive outcomes!” -Lori Marsee Kuehn, Senior Manager Global Employee Engagement, Strategy Enablement and Research, General Motors Company “We create our worlds one conversation at a time. This timely book helps us see more clearly the crucial difference between productive conversations that are generative and life giving and conversations which reduce our capacity for constructive change. It illuminates powerful Appreciative Inquiry practices and principles that can transform a leaders’ personal experience and can offer organizations and communities constructive paths forward in these challenging times. It helps us see the way that conversation can be a powerful co-evolutionary force for the common good at a time when this perspective is sorely needed.” -Juanita Brown, Co-founder, World Café Author, The World Café: Shaping Our Futures Through Conversations that Matter “A conversation is the smallest visible unit of change - a micro-moment of transformation, our starting point for every important change effort. Jackie and Cheri give us a great playbook for having positive cycles of conversations worth having, sure to spark widespread innovation, authentic shifts in culture, and system wide resilience. These interactions create the macro-movements that purpose driven leaders need. This book is a gift to the world, business, schools, and families!” -Jon Berghoff, President, Flourishing Leadership Institute “Conversations Worth Having blends together a lot of complex science into easily grasped constructs, interesting anecdotes about personal and organizational conversations, and practical advice about how to frame conversations in ways that make people want to engage and take action. An entertaining and fascinating read.! You will never look at yourself, your organization, or your world of conversations quite the same way.” -Irmgard Wobeser, Family and Couples Therapist Centro Psicologico de Cancun, Mexico “Conversations With Having is the first book I would recommend for leaders who want to be more effective and for those aspiring to be future leaders! As I read the book, I thought back to the most effective leaders with whom I’ve worked over my career and who helped shape my behavior. They naturally followed the practices and principles in this book. I recommend this book to all managers who want to be a partner in a consulting firm, all junior managers in Fortune 500 firms who desire to be senior executives, all cadets studying to be Army officers, all those who desire to be good parents and everybody else who want to have great relationships.” -Daniel K. Saint, PhD, Former Partner and Global Practice Leader, Deloitte “In Conversations Worth Having, Stavros and Torres brilliantly translate the practices and principles of Appreciative Inquiry, a process for large-scale organizational change, into well-defined everyday communication practices for enhancing personal relationships at work and beyond. The wealth of stories about people who have actually applied their ideas makes this book interesting, accessible and highly useful. If you are wondering how to improve relationships at work or at home, this book is for you!” -Diana Whitney, Ph.D. Founder, Corporation for Positive Change Co-Founder, The Taos Institute Author, Appreciative Leadership, and The Power of Appreciative Inquiry “Conversations Worth Having is a gift to us in a timely manner. Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torre’s work has broad significance and relevance anywhere. It encompasses importance of conversations at the micro-level with individuals, groups, and corporations to the mega levels to address international economic and political, military conflicts. Their appreciative approach is addressed in an atmosphere of learning and professional enrichment. Imagine a world we would have inherited had the world leaders not engaged in impactful conversations on behalf of the freedom and value of life. Global conversations were tipped in favor of life, peace, and humanity by the strategic conversations among world leaders. At a larger scale, meaningful conversations at all levels foster impactful positive changes in people and nations. Stavros and Torres through various stories bring to fore challenges and offer potential solutions via conversations in an admirable manner. The launch of this book is a welcome addition to the literature on effective communication. A reader will benefit in seeking and identifying solutions to life’s daily and perpetual issues of importance. The authors’ undertaking of the project of this magnitude should be received with appreciation and admiration.” -Virinder Moudgil, Ph.D, President and CEO, Lawrence Technological University “The heart of all conversations is how we how we understand each other and how we build trust. That, for me, is the power of Appreciative Inquiry. People with problems at work or home don’t always think Appreciative Inquiry. Yet, that is the best time to explore possibilities. This seems to be the most challenging for most people new to this field. Cheri and Jackie have marvelously struck the right notes of practice and embracing understanding. Their framing and flipping exercises are a gift, and I cannot wait to introduce the stories, exercises and practices in our workshops and trainings.” -Kathy Becker, CEO, Company of Experts, Inc., Lead Designer & Trainer, Center for Appreciative Inquiry “Conversations Worth Having is a great work and a must-read for business managers, team members, and people who work in groups! Jackie and Cheri demonstrate how to make a positive impact. They sincerely show that people have a wealth of positive energy that is best released through appreciative conversations. Through the art of our conversations, we can turn bad situations to positive ones. Appreciate Inquiry nourishes and encourages productive practices and not defensive outcomes. It facilitates meaningful conversations with people who make a difference in our lives and in our businesses – especially those individuals who are the cornerstones in any successful endeavor.” -Massood Omrani, Ph.D., Managing Director, CADFEM Americas, Inc. “The greatest thing about Conversations Worth Having is that it provides a window into the quality of our own thinking and inner dialogue. We carry on conversations in our mind without realizing much of the time the impact they have on our health, success, and happiness. Jackie and Cheri teach people how to alter their inner dialogue in order to improve their lives. Equipped with these skills, the reader will be able to better apply the skills of positive influence in the workplace and have better conversations in their personal lives. This book succinctly shows how to have effective daily interactions at work, at home, and with our own selves!” -Dan Casetta, Western Region Manager, Vector Marketing/Cutco Corporation “Everywhere in the world right now is the crucial time for connection through conversations. In their new book, Conversations Worth Having, Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres set out a pathway to lead us past our polarities. Using real time stories and the models from research, these two Appreciative Inquiry experts have written a book that will help individuals, organizations, and families navigate the choppy waters of differences.” -Marge Schiller, Founder, Positive Change Core Author, Appreciative Leadership “Conversations Worth Having provides practical ways to use Appreciative Inquiry in everyday situations. Electronics, telework, virtual meetings, and dispersed offices have replaced our daily, face-to-face conversations so that more than ever we need the type of conversations discussed in this book to solve problems, create meaningful dialogue, and build lasting productive relationships. They provide two simple practices including my favorite: asking generative questions. Great book!” -Dr. Jennifer A Hitchcock, Executive Director U.S. Army Tank Automotive Research and Development Center “How do we engage in conversations in ways that foster thriving and well-being in our workplaces, our families, and our lives more generally? After reading this book, you will be fully equipped to answer this question and to engage in conversations in ways that make a positive difference. Jackie and Cheri use their extensive knowledge and practice with Appreciative Inquiry to unlock the potential in conversations. This book is brimming with insights, stories, and practical tools that will change your capacity to have meaningful conversations with others. The book is a gift to leaders, change agents and individuals of all types who wish to engage in conversations as a means for creating positive change in ourselves and in others! I loved this book!” -Jane Dutton, Robert L. Kahn Distinguished Professor Emerita Business Administration and Psychology Ross School of Business, University of Michigan Author, Awakening Compassion at Work “An amazing book! This book provides practices to positively transform your life, family, organization, and our world. Every conversation is an opportunity to elevate a person, a situation, a culture. You’ll learn how to make the most of your interactions. This is a must-read to deepen connections, strengthen relationships, and change the world one conversation at a time. Thank you Jackie and Cheri for dedicating yourself to this practice and teaching us how to have Conversations Worth Having. Everyone needs to read this book!” -Betsy Crouch and Zoe Galvez, Co-Founders, ImprovHQ “As a city planner who engages in all kinds of conversations with multiple stakeholders at the grass-roots to the local and state levels, this book is a great resource on how to have a conversation worth having! The scenarios from the authors' experience with actual clients provide insight into how to simply have great conversations that works for all. This book will be by your side to guide you through any conversation in any moment. Keep it close by!” -John F. Baran, City Planner, City of Detroit “This book is a gift to the world! I strongly recommend it as required reading for all future leaders, business people, teachers, and parents. Jackie and Cheri have written clearly and with much practicality. The stories moved my heart to believe that Appreciative Inquiry conversations can make all the difference in the world. I plan to purchase multiple copies for those whom I love.” -Rose Heinrichs, Elementary and Special Education Teacher (Retired) “Conversations Worth Having is for everyone. The stories and examples in this book are ripe for facilitators, coaches, family members, community members, leaders, and team members alike. The clear message is reinforced, across all contexts. The authors bring the principles of Appreciative Inquiry alive in the conversations that are shared. The conversational tone personifies the message of the book. We are our conversations, and it’s through our conversations that we come alive and make meaning together. It’s an easy, delightful read that is uplifting, inspiring and actionable. The world is ready and waiting!” -Robyn Stratton-Berkessel, Founder, PositivityStrategist.com “Because of overwhelming demands, organizations (or families) often become stuck in a cycle of urgency that creates patterns of what Stavros and Torres call critical or destructive conversations. This is a GREAT book because it tells you clearly HOW to change those to Conversations Worth Having. The instructions and examples are clear and inspiring. I invite you to read this excellent book and put the concepts into practice. You will then help create a positive and results-based environment that is exciting and affirming!” -Sue Annis Hammond, Founder of Thin Book Publishing Author, The Thin Book of Appreciative Inquiry “Congratulations - Jackie and Cheri share fresh, provocative, and practical wisdom on how to transition from downward-spiraling conversations to upward-spiraling possibility conversations. Leveraging these conversations worth having ultimately unleashes potential and co-creates innovative possibilities in our personal and professional life. This is open-creative, conversation space we all need to engage ourselves in. And, for those engaged in the Appreciative Inquiry or Positive Psychology communities, you will find this book quite useful to your research and practice in everyday life!” -Maria Socorro Marrisa Fernando, PhD, Program Director, MMOD Program Graduate School of Business, Assumption University of Thailand “As a homeschooling mom of five, I have lots of conversations with my kids throughout the day. Some are good....others not so much at times. The practices and principles in this book have given me a simple way to communicate more effectively with my children. I want our conversations to be positive and encouraging. I want to be able to empower them to use their strengths and abilities. Conversations using Appreciative Inquiry is an excellent way to do just that! I loved the examples given that showed me how to incorporate this into daily life and how to deal with potential conflicts.” -Monica Chester, Homeschool Mom, and Nurse “The role of leadership has evolved so much in recent years —but the reality is that many of those in leadership roles — from supervisors to CEOs — continue to underestimate the quantity and quality of the conversations they we have each day. Many leaders are still struggling to move people from the challenges of the past, to the limitless possibilities that are available in the future. Finally, Jackie and Cheri have written a book that provides concrete stories to remind us of the importance of being intentional with our conversations, and more important, provides us with the simple practices to move any conversation away from what we don’t want, in a direction towards what we do. In my opinion, this book is an essential resource for everyone – and anyone!” -Jeff Bouwman, Director of Finance and Operations, Western University Author, Your Income, Your Life “Shared through stories and grounded in science, Jackie and Cheri have made a wonderful contribution to the application of Appreciative Inquiry. Conversations Worth Having is an educational, practical, and engaging read. This book has moved me from interest, to hope, to heart felt awe and empathy! The stories shared are easy to connect with and provide concrete examples highlighting the application of the principles and science discussed. Reading this book will help you create quality connections that will bring out the best in yourself and others. The story by Jackie’s daughter took me to tears - what an achievement to bring up such an optimistic and resilient young lady. I dream my daughters will be of the same nature as they grow up. This book is a timely reminder the importance of conversations in our life!” -Sarah Lawrence, Founder, Thriving Organisations “The authors make it clear, that the lifeblood of all relationships is our conversation. This applies both to our relationships (conversations) with others and ourselves. The appreciative principles and stories in this great book will inspire, enable, and guide the reader to nourish their relationships, one conversation at a time, by having conversations that are worthwhile. Thank you, Jackie and Cheri for this magnificent addition to Appreciative Inquiry literature!” -John Loty, Appreciative Facilitator, Forster, Australia “What a wonderfully inspiring and practical book for putting the principles and practices of Appreciative Inquiry into action in ways that will surely strengthen relationships and results.” -Colette Herrick, Executive Leadership Coach and Organization Consultant, Insight Shift “Our organizations are a place where a group of people come together to a serve a common purpose and achieve goals. Our interactions allow the organization to flourish and sustain or whither and fade into obscurity. The stories and lessons presented in this book give us a new way to sustain all of the organizations of which we are a part. Whether a provider of health care or in the classroom, the concepts presented by Jackie and Cheri offer us a voice in the creation of a sustainable future that works for all!” -Dr. Paul A. Miklovich, Administrator, Cleveland Clinic “If conversations are worth having – and they ARE! – then, this book is CERTAINLY worth reading! The stories relayed here are rich in the practical application of Appreciative Inquiry (AI) with a depth of honesty, truth, and reality making the principles more easily transferable into our own lives. I’ve brought AI to the Royal Air Force, the National Health Service, the BBC and ITV, Warner Brothers, 3M, and more, to effect cultural and transformational change and create environments where creativity and innovation thrive. This book has taken my understanding and application of AI to the next level!” -Barry Bailey, Owner, Mobile Team Challenge Europe Executive Vice-president of 3M Europe “I fell in love with Appreciative Inquiry and changed my career because of this discovery that individuals, organizations, and even communities can create a future with a focus on the good and the best through conversations that really matter. Since 2003 my focus has been Conversational Leadership and its development in the world of organizations. Cheri and Jackie’s book provides a safe, simple, and yet powerful way to identify and synthesize conversations beyond positive affirmations, generating a new approach on the already paved way of Appreciative Inquiry. Whether for family, professional or community use, Conversations Worth Having is a book you cannot miss reading.” -Eduardo Magalhães Sarmento Afonso, Coach and Learning Host Atma Genus Consulting, Brasil “Prepare to get excited about the enormous potential of dialogue to create meaning in our relationships and inspire action toward a shared vision of success. The authors graciously release us from a limiting belief that to solve a problem we have to focus on it. Instead, they show us how to flip our thoughts and ask the right questions in order to move in the direction we desire. Practical, poignant, and always positive, Conversations Worth Having helps us grow as individuals, learning to build the bridges that connect us to what we do want at work, at home, in our neighborhoods and society.” -Kelly Stewart, Founder, Attractivate and The Positive Business “In Conversations Worth Having, Stavros and Torres combine science and story-telling to help us learn practical ways to shift our conversations to more meaningful, purposeful and positive interactions using Appreciative Inquiry. What anyone in a conversation needs now!” -Louis Alloro, M.Ed., MAPP, Change-Agent, Center for the Advancement of Wellbeing “I enjoyed reading Conversations Worth Having. Having read many great books about Appreciative Inquiry (AI), I think it is an excellent addition to the AI knowledge base! The authors have shed light on an important aspect of AI - its value isn't limited to large scale organizational or systemic change initiatives as some practitioners may believe. It also applies to everyday conversations at home, in our workplaces, and with others around us. What I like in particular are the many "micro AI practices" this books shares. They are extremely useful tips that offer many ways to turn any conversation to an appreciative conversation that help everyone involved move forward!” -David Shaked, Managing Director, Almond Insight Author, Strength-based Lean Six Sigma “Conversations Worth Having is a unique approach on how we can purposefully use Appreciative Inquiry to achieve positive objectives and effective results. Its sincere integration of leadership and communication practices creates a win-win outcome for all those engaged in a conversation, be it in family, community, or organizational settings. This book is highly recommended as a pocket-side book for anyone who sees conversation as a sincere exchange to achieve mutually beneficial outcome for all involved.” -Jean-Paul Meutcheho, Director of Sourcing and Corporate Sustainability Global Advanced Metals “I was aware and very intrigued with Appreciative Inquiry. I related to the story in Chapter 5 about using AI in strategic planning session with Washtenaw Literacy that has staying power with us in our conversations, three years later. After reading this new book, it is a reminder how to use AI not only in our strategic conversations but in any conversation with our staff, board members, volunteers, and the community we serve! Thank you, Jackie and Cheri for bringing the benefits of this approach to life for me.” -Mary Jean Raab, President of Board of Directors, Washtenaw Literacy “Jackie and Cheri give us simple appreciative practices to live out of our best selves in a way that honors us and honors those we are conversing with. How often have many of us been in a tight situation—that we are not handling well and wishing we had a fix? Now we have an approach—constructive, simply powerful, and helpful to work with and grow in changing our orientation, presence and inquiry in tense moments. Conversations Worth Having will be a wonderful little gift across ages and occasions—from birthdays to weddings. Thank you Jackie and Cheri. I so appreciated reading your precious work.” -Cecile G. Betit Ph.D., Independent Researcher “This invaluable book sets out Appreciative Inquiry practices and principles to help our conversations flourish rather than flounder. It can even help to start a conversation that perhaps we’ve avoided for too long. A deceptively simple message: positively frame the conversation, be your best in a conversation, and engage with the results that follow. This approach combined with the art and science of meaningful questions open us up to developing better strategies and more productive outcomes for everyone involved. This is a concise yet detailed explanation of what to do and why it works. It demystifies the mystery of why some conversations work and others don’t and supports us through the practical steps of engagement. A wonderful and essential book to have with us at all times!” -Anne Radford, Founder, Appreciative Inquiry Practitioner’ Co-Mentor - Resilient Leadership Program “Colin Powell, said "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." Jackie and Cheri’s new book shows how this can be done using Appreciative Inquiry to change the direction of any conversation and result in new connections, knowledge, and innovation. The arrival of this terrific and timely book will be most helpful to many organizations and individuals!” -Richard E. Marburger, Ph.D. President Emeritus, Lawrence Technological University President, Board of Education, AGBU Alex and Marie Manoogian School Past President, Engineering Society of Detroit “In Conversations Worth Having, Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres show us how to have conversations that can shape our lives, our relationships, our organisations, and communities in ways that are filled with positive meaning. Meticulously researched and evidence-based, the strategies suggested will certainly assist anyone to do so. Many real-life stories are included to illustrate clearly how changing the questions we ask and the stories we tell can transform our lives, both personally and professionally. Particularly moving is a story written by one author's 13 year old daughter, where she concludes by saying "I learned to accept responsibility and to cope with the idea of potentially losing someone I love forever. I hope that I never have to go through this again, but if I do I know where and how to start the conversation". Inspiring and eminently practical, Conversations Worth Having is a joy to read. And if, like almost everyone, you have ever wondered 'where and how to start a conversation', this book is a must-have addition to your library.” -Sue James, Facilitator and Consultant, BJ Seminars International, Australia “Conversations Worth Having is a wonderfully practical book illustrated with engaging and concrete stories. It provides a powerful road map for people who want their conversations to make a positive difference. This book will give you ideas to apply at work, in community, and with family and friends. Read and use it, you’ll see results worth having!” -Joan McArthur-Blair and Jeanie Cockell, Co-authors Building Resilience with Appreciative Inquiry: A Leadership Journey through Hope, Despair, and Forgiveness “Conversations Worth Having provides a simple way to a positive, engaging, and productive dialogue to help us avoid negative and destructive exchanges with others to have great conversations with others! It is filled with many examples for becoming an effective conversationalist, and it profoundly demonstrates the importance conversations play in our life. It’s an easy read and will make you, your life, and your organization a success!” -Basel AL-Jabari, Executive Director, International American Business Training and Testing “Conversations Worth Having is the sina qua non of meaningful improvement, in our institutions, workplaces, and families. Building on the time honored notion that “we live in the world created by our conversations” this book gives all the next steps anyone of us might ever need to seed positive revolution in our corner of the universe. Ideas such as the four types of conversations, with stories that illuminate each one, are eminently actionable. In a period of unparalleled division and disharmony, Torres and Stavros offer us each an invitation so powerful, it has the potential to be the butterfly wings that create a more positive future. The next conversation you have might be the one that tips us toward a world that works for all of us.” -Bernard J. Mohr, Thinking Partner, Speaker, Co-author of Appreciative Inquiry: Change at The Speed of Imagination; Co-Creating More Humane and Effective Organizations, and Designing Integrated Care Eco-systems, and Co-originator of People Powered Innovation Labs “Conversations Worth Having does an excellent job of sharing how Appreciative Inquiry can easily be used to improve dialogue in any aspect of our lives. Stavros and Torres include great examples to show us have great conversations. As a former student of Jackie, she indeed does successfully live this in her conversations. She was integral in refocusing me away from the negative to the positive (aka – the flip) that has led to greater success in my personal and professional settings.” -Joe Sprangel, Dean, College of Business & Professional Studies, Mary Baldwin University
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About the Author
Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres have been internationally recognized for their work with Appreciative Inquiry. They've positively affected the lives of thousands of people and helped hundreds of organizations improve their capacity to thrive in uncertain times. They have been researching, writing, consulting, and speaking on Appreciative Inquiry since 1996.
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Product details
Paperback: 168 pages
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers (May 22, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 152309401X
ISBN-13: 978-1523094011
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.9 out of 5 stars
65 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#38,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book provides a easy to follow model of a constructive conversation. This is an essential skill for everyone. It's written in clear, concrete language with stories to help you see how you can apply the model. Jackie and Cheri have been thought leaders in the Appreciative Inquiry world and you will benefit from their years of experience. Buy it, read it, apply the model. You'll be delighted with the results.
Conversations Worth Having is a book worth reading! I found it to be a combination of everything I like in a book. It’s well written – making it easy to read in one afternoon, but by no means “simple.†It gave me a new perspective about how to engage people in my personal and professional life in productive conversations. I have read a lot of books about having difficult conversations, or resolving conflict, and this is so much more. Yes, it provides tools for such conversations, but it also provides a new way of thinking about our lives and our workplaces. Furthermore, Conversations Worth Having lays forth a structure for an organization to engage in deep reflective thinking to craft a strategic plan forward. As a school leader, I look forward to using Conversations Worth Having for school improvement.
“Conversations Worth Having†is worthy of reflection and, of course, conversation! As a result of reading Jackie and Cheri’s book, I’ve created a simple “cheat sheet†to monitor my own conversations: 1) am I being appreciative? and 2) am I asking thoughtful questions? It sounds easy, but of course it takes practice. Jackie and Cheri’s framework helps us learn to listen thoughtfully, consider others’ strengths, and ask for their insights. In return, your questions can provide insights to others to help them grow. It’s a win-win proposition!
Stavros and Torres have done a brilliant job of synthesizing key principles and processes of Appreciative Inquiry to help us bring integrity and vision to any conversation. They provide 5 important elements of Appreciative Conversations (p. 42) along with interesting story examples from business to parenting, demonstrating that with practice and patience we can elevate our conversations to amplify mutual genuine affirmation. Reminding us in various ways throughout the book, "We find what we look for," the authors gift us with the valuable opportunity to look for the good and the possible in every conversation. At a time when many parents spend less time in actual conversations with their children than ever before, I will share this book widely with the parents and family support professionals I work with. Conversations Worth Having will give them wise and practical information, while showing them it is so worth it to take the time necessary to engage in appreciative conversations with their children and teens.
“Would you like to significantly increase performance of your business above industry average? Would you like to have a higher percentage of engaged employees? Would you like to build a positive strength-based business? If the answer is yes, then buy this book. The principles in Conversations Worth Having provides the road map how to align all stakeholders with the vision, goals, and strategies of your business.One of our clients applied the Appreciative Inquiry (AI) practices and principles discussed in Conversations Worth Having with all suppliers to reduce the cost of goods sold. As a result, Gross Margins increased 28% and Net Income by $8.3 million.Buy this short, easy to read book, apply the practices and principles throughout your business, and reap the rewards.â€Jack Todaro, President, Performance Improvement Associates
Conversations Worth Having is a great guidance book no matter what age you are or career path you are taking/in. I am a college student studying math and planning to be a high school math teacher, and there are several tactics that this book taught me that I cannot wait to implement in not only my future career, but my college career and everyday life! It also opened my eyes to what kinds of negative conversations I may have had in the past without even realizing it, and how I can improve each and every day to have more positive and productive interactions with family, friends, and strangers! I definitely recommend this book to anybody.
How powerful is a good question--Cheri and Jackie show through many stories and examples from business, education, and family life. In addition to the practical tools and suggestions, I love the spirit of this book. And reading the first afternoon I received it, I was able to share with a client the practice of reframing or flipping a potentially confrontational conversation into a productive one. Really helpful!
This book should be read by everyone. Conversation forms the foundation - good or bad - of our relationship with everyone. At a time when communication has been broken down to harsh sound bites, emoticons and texting, "Conversations Worth Having" describes in clear, actionable language how we can communicate more effectively and achieve better interactions and relationships with others.
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